Tipping

My brother sent me a text messaged and asked should you tip at Sonic?  And his question prompted me to ponder on not only tipping at Sonic but tipping period.  I feel that I have a good amount of friends who are and have waited or bartended; and their complaints are never with their job being boring, or too many hours; but they are seemingly always about the patrons who come into their establishments and the awkward yet hope filled moment of receiving a good tip.  Tipping has become somewhat of a lost art, like love or the fifteen foot jump shot.  Thus, I thought it would be funny and interesting to write some guidelines on how I try to be nice, but not overly lavish or snobby when I tip

1.       If you buy food from a Sonic, or place where people bring you food on rollerblades, or skateboards, or jet packs.  A one to two dollar tip is definitely needed.  It’s like saying thanks for letting me watch you in hopes that you would fall and spill my food.

2.       If you use a coupon and receive a significant amount of money off of the original bill, you should tip at the original amount.  I.E. your bill is $50, you get the meal half off thus you pay $25.  Your tip should be 7.50 not 3.75.

3.       If you are with a group of people drinking at any time and at some point an awkward exchange (usually inappropriate and sexual) is made between the group and the server, an extra 1-2 dollars per person is necessary to offset any awkward damages.

4.       If you pull up in luxury vehicle, valet park that vehicle, and buy an expensive bottle of wine. Do not tip 15%, your tip percentage automatically goes up to 15%

5.       If you are a celebrity and you don’t tip 30-50% depending on your bill, I hope you get Sandusked in jail while you are in prison for tax evasion, o hey Wesley Snipes.

6.       And lastly to all of us regular people tip your servers and bartenders well because karma can be a bitch.