The Republican Candidates

The Republican Presidential Candidates

The Republicans are struggling to say the least.  They are struggling to find a leader who can challenge incumbent President Obama in the 2012 elections.  I thought it would be funny to compare the candidates as cartoon/sitcom characters so we could have  a better idea of who they are.

Herman Cain:  Herman is like the old pimp daddy uncle who waves his money around.  His character is Pepy la Pew.  Pepy was a smooth French speaking skunk that was hornier than a two year old dog.   Cain is like Pepy in that he acts inappropriately towards women as we have seen with the recent sexual harassment allegations against him.  They are also similar in that Pepy thought he was a smooth talker.  Only problem was Pepy didn’t know what he was talking about, like Cain.  Cain is somewhat articulate, he’s smart but he does not understand politics and policy, as his Libya answer construed days ago.

Rick Perry:  Perry is like the slow kid in class that everyone likes and uses because he’s older to get cigarettes.  The character that he best resembles ‘bullet head’ from the Steve Harvey Show.  Bullethead was slow dim whited but he always found a way to make you laugh.  That’s Perry whether it’s his N’ word hunting grounds, or his ‘oops’ on national TV.  He knows exactly how to make you saw, ‘awe he’s so dumb’. 

Newt Gingrich:  Newt is that old school politician.  He flips any and everything like he’s Young Jeezy in the kitchen (TM 103).  Because he is the elderly politician in the group I have to compare him to Matthew McConaughey’s character in Dazed and Confused (David Wooderson).  The guy who lives in the glory days and can’t wait to surround himself with younger woman.

Michelle Bachman:  Bachman reminds me of Sabrina the Teenage Witch.  She says enough to keep herself out of trouble, but doesn’t say enough to make you really want to watch the show.  But still she appeals to you on some level because you feel you should watch.  Ehh it could be worse; it could Sarah Palin.

Mitt Romney:  Mitt should be the front runner in this race, but his Mormonism and healthcare bill are keeping him from reaching his potential.  I best compare him to Scottie Pippen.  No it’s not a cartoon or a sitcom, but Mitt seems like a great number #2.  Someone who a number one can lean on when he’s a little sick in game 5 of the 1998 Finals.  Someone who is dependable and understandable.  But not someone who can hold down the fort when the number 1 or 23 decides to retire.